I tied my greasy hair back in a ponytail, put my swimsuit and sunglasses on, and called to my 10-year-old son, “I’m ready, let’s go.”
Heat like an oven arose from the asphalt as we walked to our community pool. It was June in Arizona.
“We get to go swimming…” I said in a forced happy tone. He ran ahead of me, flip flops popping and his towel flying in the wind. For a brief moment, my heart felt lighter. We were getting out of the house and we were going to have fun.
As we approached the pool, I heard children’s voices and noticed there was a young mom sitting poolside as her two boys played.
Immediately I felt excited. I hadn’t met any neighbors with children. My son jumped in the pool and I sat down next to the stranger and introduced myself. We shared little bits of who we were…just enough to know we weren’t weirdos or stalkers. Somewhere in between the questions and answers, I found out she had just moved in, had two boys in early elementary school, and she found out about my three children, ages 15 and 10, and 6 weeks. We also both found out that each of us desperately needed a friend.
Our friendship evolved, and I came to know of her childhood in Colorado City where she grew up in a polygamist community and escaped when she was nineteen, and she came to know of my struggle with post-partum depression and issues from my own childhood.
Fast forward 6 years, and we have shared laughter, tears, angers, and fears. She went through her own bout with post-partum depression and the birth of two new baby girls, and I went through the heartaches and challenges of raising teenagers. I have said so many times over the past 6 years that I don’t know what I would have done without my friend, and I thank God for her often.
THE CRICK CODE is a product of our friendship. It’s B’s story, but in it, I see so many parts of me and my own struggles too. It is our concentration project that helps us to assign meaning to our lives and our past experiences. I can’t even begin to explain how valuable her presence has been in my life. Having a friend who is willing to play is truly invaluable…and she doesn’t even care if, on rare days, my hair is greasy or not.